for a moment of joy or moments no one pays for, i give myself a ‘jornal’. this makes me rich. try it.

winter beach

winter beach–
chilled waves fill in and drain
our braided footmarks

(as edited 01/17–see comments)
winter beach–
chilled waves fill and drain
our braided footmarks

Thanks to Patrick (poemshape)

January 17, 2011 - Posted by | haiku, poetry | , , , , , , , ,


  1. This is nice. One feels that there’s some sorrow in the relationship. One also wonders why, on a cold winter’s day, they are walking so close to the waves, but perhaps their clime is a little more southerly than my own. 🙂

    I don’t think you need “in”.

    winter beach-
    chilled waves fill and drain
    our braided footmarks

    Comment by upinvermont | January 17, 2011 | Reply

    • Huge thanks, as always, Patrick! Yes, the “in” is superflous. And yes, this sad feeling persists in my poetry. The Japanese aesthetics you couldn’t quite recall when you wrote your comment on my three tanka is not only “wabi” as I replied but “wabi-sabi”. I think it is�its metaphysical sense that flows into my poems.

      As described by Leonard Koren in his book, “Wabi-Sabi for Artists, Designers, Poets & Philosophers” (Stone Bridge Press, Berkeley, California, 1994), the metaphysical basis, which he begins with the question, “what is the universe like?” is “Things are either devolving toward, or evolving from, nothingness…While the universe destructs it also constructs. New things emerge out of nothingness…In metaphysical terms, wabi-sabi suggests that the universe is in constant motion toward or away from potential.”

      It’s a state of mind I seem to have been aware of as long as I can recall. I have always felt rueful about beauty, and always cried, when absolutely uplifted by works of art especially music; I still do both. I have characters in my short stories and my novella who sense at the height of happiness an equal depth of sorrow: my female protagonist in my novella-in-progress (editing and rewriting), “Lovers of the Interior“, exemplifies this thought. But that’s another story–a swing away from haiku!

      And again, thanks for these conversations you open so wonderfully!


      Comment by alee9 | January 17, 2011 | Reply

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: