jornales

for a moment of joy or moments no one pays for, i give myself a ‘jornal’. this makes me rich. try it.

About

autumn wind
wondering about lilies
in a mountain pond

Tell me a writer who really gets a satisfying jornal, in Spanish a daily wage or its equivalent, and I’ll bare a spirit in constant bouts of doubtfulness. Does a writer earn more because of what he writes and how he does it? Or is a writer paid more or less because of who he is? Is it money or honor he expects to receive?

Ahhh … but money as wage, and praise or honor as reward would be too predictable, too common as Job lamented in the Book of Job. It is in these lines that read: “Is not man’s life on earth nothing more than pressed service, his times no better than hired drudgery? Like the slave, sighing for the shade, or the workman with no thought but his wages, months of delusion I have assigned to me, nothing for my own but nights of grief. Lying in bed I wonder, ‘When will it be day?’ Risen I think, ‘How slowly evening comes!’

Restlessly I fret till twilight falls. Swifter than a weaver’s shuttle my days have passed, and vanished, leaving no hope behind. Remember that my life is but a breath, and that my eyes will never again see joy.” 

Not money but joy is the ultimate wage as the passage implies. And joy is not hard to earn for it is in everyday life if we have eyes to see, a nose to smell, fingers to touch, ears to hear–a heart beating. This to me, is how a writer earns a daily wage. His wages then take the guise of treasures his heart can transfigure into a universe of thought that taps into other hearts, that causes a swirl in the depth of other souls, or that makes wings to sprout on leaden heels.

Sometimes not joy but rueful, poignant moments are my pick. Take what I earned once: On my walk home in my neighborhood, I caught two clumps of snowdrops–such tiny blossoms smaller than fingertips that do not look up but shyly droop close to black patches on the ground winter has frozen. That afternoon in the frosty wind, they trembled as if ready to turn away and run but how could they? For that poignant moment on seeing the wintry rain beat on the fragile snowdrop–as if pushing it to go home now, go to sleep–I earned my jornal, my daily wage.

Once on summer walk, the crackle of dried leaves just hit me both like the laughter of children and sobs long suppressed. Neither one of them would resolve the dryness, but I recalled how each does bring tears: laughter for joy, sobs for healing that comes with the release of a dammed-up pain. My jornal that day came as two haiku.

Fall has since shortened the day and the heart begins to crave for lost space that it doesn’t even recall which or where. I feel that most treasures have turned into mush so much so I wouldn’t be able to sift them off the ground. Yet I caught the dying day yesterday–so glorious in the gold of autumn it opened a flip side of serene heaven. Blades of grass coated in diadems of rain that carpet the lawns render royal walks poor by imitation. A burst of red maple against an inky blue sky humbled me, a soul bragging about her skill to recreate beauty in words.

I suppose I’m taking Job’s reflections to heart. I’d rather not gloss over each day and look beyond what’s there, right before me, or else fragile as is my breath one day “my eyes may never again see joy” to write. With what then will I compare the eternal joy, the ultimate wage I await?

Yet for now, as other eyes hanker to make the invisible visible, I put a tag on some moments of joy. Like on seeing the snowdrops, I paid myself $200 as my jornal.

What could have been yours?

28 Comments »

  1. I never noticed that passage, but I agree 🙂

    Comment by Monty | August 20, 2010 | Reply

    • Thanks for ‘dropping by’.

      Try reading the Book again; not just this passage but you might like me find most of it personally meaningful.

      Thanks again.

      Comment by alee9 | August 21, 2010 | Reply

  2. Try reading the Book again; not just this passage but you might like me find most of it personally meaningful.
    +1

    Comment by Abner Carr | September 6, 2010 | Reply

  3. I always enjoy reading the poetry. Thanks for sharing it with everyone. cheers

    Comment by dustus | December 26, 2010 | Reply

    • I’m glad and honored you enjoy the poetry! Thanks, Adam.

      Comment by alee9 | December 28, 2010 | Reply

  4. I’d should check with you here. Which is not one thing I usually do! I enjoy reading a publish that can make people think. Additionally, thanks for permitting me to remark!

    Comment by Alfred Palino | January 18, 2011 | Reply

    • Thank you, Alfred!

      Comment by alee9 | January 19, 2011 | Reply

  5. Really like your work.

    Comment by mypadmedia review | January 19, 2011 | Reply

    • Thank you! Thanks for coming by.

      Comment by alee9 | January 19, 2011 | Reply

  6. Nice post. I learn something more challenging on different blogs everyday. My fav. so far to day has been yours! thanks for sharing.

    Comment by quotes about life | February 13, 2011 | Reply

    • Thanks for coming by.

      Comment by alee9 | February 14, 2011 | Reply

  7. Just wanted to say your blog is incredibly sensible. I usually prefer to hear thusme issue new about this mainly as a result of I even have the similar blog in my Country on this subject so this help´s me a lot. I did a probe on a subject matter and observed a very smart number of blogs but nothing like this.Thanks for sharing such a lot in your blog.

    Comment by sprzątanie mogił | February 18, 2011 | Reply

    • Thanks for coming by!

      Comment by alee9 | February 18, 2011 | Reply

  8. Good Blog, I think I will definitely subscribe

    Comment by red cristiana | February 26, 2011 | Reply

  9. Your place is valueble for me. Thanks!…

    Comment by Rex Ryan | August 9, 2011 | Reply

  10. I couldn’t resist commenting – great info thanks.

    Comment by The Zuma | August 17, 2011 | Reply

  11. I really liked the article, and the very cool blog

    Comment by rtyecript | August 24, 2011 | Reply

  12. Saved as a favorite, I really like your blog!

    Comment by Stock Prices Quotes | September 15, 2011 | Reply

  13. I like this blog so much, saved to bookmarks.

    Comment by Margot Boger | September 17, 2011 | Reply

  14. Generally I don’t read post on blogs, but I would like to say that this write-up very compelled me to try and do it! Your writing style has been surprised me. Thank you, very nice post.

    Comment by Maya Banners | April 26, 2012 | Reply

    • Thank you, Maya! I’m glad you liked what you found here.

      Comment by alee9 | April 27, 2012 | Reply

  15. Somebody necessarily assist to make significantly articles I’d state. This is the first time I frequented your web page and up to now? I surprised with the research you made to make this actual publish incredible. Fantastic process!

    Comment by animation art , installations and magic from Kurageart | May 25, 2012 | Reply

  16. I’m so glad to have found a place where I can read your words. I’ve felt for a while now that I’d enjoy reading your thoughts and ideas. I was right. Thank you Alee.

    Comment by http://edgarhopper.com | June 15, 2012 | Reply

    • Oh, thanks so much, Edgar! How uplifting to know that you actually sought me out! I’m honestly humbled yet honored. I do hope I can keep keep this up and not fail you. Thanks again.

      Comment by alee9 | June 15, 2012 | Reply

  17. Regard it as just as desirable to build a chicken house as to build a cathedral…

    I’m not sure where you are getting your info, but good topic. I needs to spend some time learning more or understanding more. Thanks for great information I was looking for this information for my mission….

    Trackback by turtle beach px21 review | August 1, 2012 | Reply

  18. An interesting dialogue is price comment. I think that you should write extra on this subject, it won’t be a taboo topic however typically persons are not enough to speak on such topics. To the next. Cheers

    Comment by affordable search engine optimization | August 10, 2012 | Reply

  19. Trackback…

    I came across this useful and interesting blog while doing an online search to come up with the relevant information that I was looking for to help me to complete my school intern research project….

    Trackback by work at home | September 25, 2012 | Reply

  20. Hey there, I found your website by way of Google whilst looking for a comparable matter, your web site got here up, it looks great. I’ve bookmarked it in my google bookmarks.

    Comment by hiernach | October 17, 2012 | Reply


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: