jornales

for a moment of joy or moments no one pays for, i give myself a ‘jornal’. this makes me rich. try it.

night hatching dawn (Merry Christmas)

sitting it out

with night hatching dawn

Merry Christmas

***

of the hundreds

in the forest, crow trims

a pine tip

***

twelfth day

my true love bakes for Christmas

a partridge in pear

Love, joy and peace to all of you dear jornales and wordpress friends.  We’re on to almost a whole year of sharing such message of the season with poetry. Blessed is how I consider myself having touched you all. This season as I’ve repeatedly said so, I’d like to thank you again. May the New Year find us even more deeply engaged in poetry, hence, in love, joy, and peace.

(Haiku are also posted at NaHaiWriMo  under the prompt ‘Christmas’. Image from my camera, one of my many shots–in the dark, literally–of the million lights spangled at Van Dusen Gardens in Vancouver every Christmas.)


December 24, 2011 Posted by | haiku, poetry | , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

pine tips (a haiku rewritten from a non-haiku)

pine tips holding up
to the winter sky–
how low can stars fall?

the non-haiku

Pine strands
flailing: how low can stars fall?

Why I think it’s not haiku:

1. it doesn’t have the two parts of a haiku
2. the first part is an incomplete thought, also, wrong word usage–strands don’t quite describe pine branches and flailing suggests something like strips or threads or strands like hair which could describe willow branches–hence,
3. the second part is meaningless or
4. the juxtaposition does not work
5. therefore, it’s not a haiku moment

Perhaps the rewritten version works better though I’m still uncertain about it. The second part might be, as Patrick G would describe, ‘author-driven’. But I’m quite content that I’m seeing batches of non-haiku I’ve written more clearly, and writing haiku that work sometimes.

What had helped? Reading a lot, interacting with haiku lovers-writers who have turned friends-who-care like Patrick Gillespie at poemshape and Margaret Dornaus at haikudoodle, but reading especially Melissa Allen’s haikuverse at red dragonfly. And there’s the monthly meeting with my Haiku Vancouver Group!

January 27, 2011 Posted by | haiku, poetry, Uncategorized | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment