jornales

for a moment of joy or moments no one pays for, i give myself a ‘jornal’. this makes me rich. try it.

What is ‘zoka’? (Prompt at NaHaiWriMo: My response, added comment and Alan Summers’ reply)

 

 

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15/10/12 (prompt by Scott Abeles: zoka)

Zoka is defined as “the process of creation, transformation, and destruction in nature”. The presence of “zoka” separates “object-based” haiku from “activity-based” haiku. Indeed, some argue that an object-based, zoka-free poem is not, by definition, a haiku.

Not quite sure I get it but here are my attempts at a response to the prompt:

sniveling wind
a puppy looks at me
for a nod

oak shadow—
a nesting moon rusts
on cloud mist

autumn stillness
a doddering mosquito’s
break-away
(Comment I added) 

Honestly, the prompt almost made me sleepless as the term, ‘zoka’, intimidated me but I wrote three, in case, any might be the right response to the prompt. This happens every time I’m confronted with Japanese terms. And yet, as I’ve been resistantly dealing with my doubts whether or not I’ve been writing haiku, I realized like the other evening, some of what I’ve tried to put in lines are quite ‘zoka’.

Learning more of this poetry form is constantly challenging given the many ‘voices’ that spangle the haiku-sphere. I do read and hear them as ‘voices’ rather than this and that ‘form/term’ because as in any art, each line for me, is of the writer’s/artist’s world.

Again, this too, had confused me when first reading haiku. It was a challenge to be ‘objective’ (stripped of the personal or hints of it as perhaps I misunderstood), a view quite alien to Poetry as I know. But I’ve persisted and still do bravely write haiku the way I filter a seeming sea of knowledge on it from a mosaic of my own lenses. I wonder though if it’s valid, ‘voice in haiku, I mean.

(Alan Summers’ reply)

Yes, all debates such as this do enlighten greatly. Thanks for the discussion. And thanks for the challenge, Scott!

Honestly, the prompt almost made me sleepless as the term, ‘zoka’, intimidated me but I wrote three, in case, any might be the right response to the prompt.

It made you write some good haiku using that prompt. Sometimes too easy prompts do not push us into stretching.

You should never feel uncomfortably intimidated, just enough to stretch those writing muscles.

In fact I’ve observed you, and many others, become incredible writers of haiku, in various styles, through NaHaiWriMo prompts, thanks to MDW!

This happens every time I’m confronted with the Japanese terms. And yet, as i’ve been resistantly dealing with my doubts whether or not I’ve been writing haiku, I realized like the other evening, some of what I’ve tried to put in lines are quite ‘zoka’.”

Exactly! What’s good about the NaHaiWriMo page is that we are all in this together, and out of that support there has been some incredible work.

When I did my recent prompt courtesy of MDW, I was astonished how many fine, not just good, but very fine haiku I had to reduce to the nominated number for the forthcoming anthology. And it was a difficult prompt too!

You can always use Google or Bing to search these terms out. I have a huge database backed up on my computer for the benefit of my workshops.

You can always email or FB message if you are not sure. We are always learning, so I keep up to date as much as possible, and have a useful set of resources.

Learning more of this poetry form is constantly challenging given the many ‘voices’ that spangle the haiku-sphere. I do read and hear them as ‘voices’ rather than this and that ‘form/term’ because as in any art, each line is of the writer’s world.”

Exactly!

Again, this too, had confused me when first reading haiku. It was a challenge to be ‘objective’ (stripped of personal perception as perhaps I misunderstood), a view quite alien to Poetry as I know. But I’ve persisted and still do write haiku the way I filter a seeming sea of knowledge on it from a mosaic of my own lenses.”

You have a remarkable style and voice in haiku, it’s a privilege to know you and read your work.

I wonder though if it’s valid, ‘voice in haiku, I mean. Yes, all debates such as this do enlighten greatly. Thanks!

Having a voice in poetry is what we all aspire to, and so I’d say we can also have our own voice in haiku. After all Basho wanted his students (and in a way, we are his students too) to go their own way in haikai literature, not to copy what he had done.

We don’t know what he’d like or dislike but I think many of us would be both surprised and delighted that he’d like certain developments and progressions in haiku. Alan Gibbons

January 26, 2013 Posted by | background, comment, haiku | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 7 Comments

Six of my haiku at DailyHaiku Cycle 14 Round 3 (Jan 2013)

Jan 06 2013

swing
twisting by itself—
wreathed school yard

Jan 07 2013

snowfall
…in a cup
…the hush

Jan 08 2013

red lobster–
her prying glance
through the mist

Jan 09 2013

as needed
to plumb the darkness–
night dew

Jan 10 2013

empty birdhouse—
I check my voice mail
in grey light

Jan 11, 2013

cold sheen
in the raised chalice—
her wet mumblings

Jan 12 2013

brittle
to my touch…
the old moon

DailyHaiku Cycle 14 Round 3 (January 2013)

January 23, 2013 Posted by | haiku, poetry | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

in the mist/frosted dawn (#24b & #25 for NaHaiWriMo with brief self-critique)

#24b for NaHaiWriMo (#24 posted at facebook site)
in the mist
waiting to meet you–
budding crocus

A double kigo for spring. I don’t know if it works. But I also see in it two meanings: ‘mist’ for uncertainty, ‘budding crocus’ for hope, reassurance.

#25
frosted dawn–
his words hang
over coffee

I’m not sure about the juxtapostion of image, kigo and meaning here. But I like it.

February 25, 2011 Posted by | critique/self-critique, haiku, poetry | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 4 Comments

mist/deepwinter/thunder in the copse–v-day haiku but no ‘heart’ as kigo (for One Stop Poetry, also my 13th,14th,15th NaHaiWriMo)

13.
mist—
too wet on cheeks
to be a kiss

14.
deep winter—
bundled up we search
for each other’s eyes

15.
thunder in the copse
a vow
unintended

‘Heart’ as kigo is missing here but it’s hinted at. Does Valentine belong to Japanese haiku tradition? I believe it’s not though I don’t really know much about modern Japanese haiku. Perhaps, it has included it as a kigo. Here’s what I think comes closest to it–the courtly tanka in its purest form like this tanka from Thomas Gurgal’s Japanese Tanka, The Court Poetry of a Golden Age, first posted here under grey relentless rain (is it tanka? 02/07 2011) ‘I am comforted’ page 41:

I am comforted;
Now wordly impermanence
Seems unimportant;
Seen in the depths of your eyes,
The warm eternal darkness.

Posted also for One Stop Poetry’s Saturday Celebration of Valentine’s Day. Check us out!

February 12, 2011 Posted by | haiku, poetry | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 4 Comments