jornales

for a moment of joy or moments no one pays for, i give myself a ‘jornal’. this makes me rich. try it.

i dare you (for One Shoot Sunday)

1.
i ground my being
in search of truth
and found
a scoop of silt

superficialities
i basked in surfaces
the sun swarmed
beguiling

choked my truths
in flashes
glories in seconds
fallen as ash

my pretenses
morphing into
this mush slipping
between my lips

entrapped
in your weakness
i dare you
unclad who i am

2.
who am this
being a pallid skein
of desire tangled
in despair

words dangle
on tips of bones
their flesh i picked off
in my darkness

suns melt
on my breath
gods cower in fear
over my stink

stones corrode
from my tears falling
as flint on my trail
dead embers

rain pools
sizzle on my passing
burn secrets
my footprints bred

3.
taunt me
if you have grit
the songs i spew
rattle angels

wangle crests
of waves my stare
long petrified on seas
turned cesspools

dare to cleanse
the air i poison
my soul departed
litter ivy beds

comb my hair
your fingers hanker
for my silken scales
to root in spirit

grind your being
with mine scrape off
your bareness toss out
your soul i dare you

Photo prompt by Fee Easton

Posted for One Shoot Sunday from a photo prompt by Fee Easton at One Stop Poetry where poets and artists share their art and their passion for it, a nurturing gathering place. Check us out.

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March 13, 2011 - Posted by | free verse, poetry | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

14 Comments »

  1. that is quite the dare…the desolation.destruction in the second really grabbed me…the words dangling from bones…great piece…

    Comment by brian | March 13, 2011 | Reply

    • Glad you liked, Brian. Indeed, that prompt was ‘quite a dare’.

      Comment by alee9 | March 13, 2011 | Reply

  2. Love how you capture a sort of dripping disintegration through working the details. The part Brian mentions got me too. Great challenge response

    Comment by dustus | March 13, 2011 | Reply

    • Thanks, Adam! I really did see ‘disintegration’ right through. It’s a subject I had always wanted to write about as a poem but all my drafts come out as either mushy or gory. The prompt was perfect! Thanks for choosing it among all of Fee’s magnificent landscape shots.

      Comment by alee9 | March 13, 2011 | Reply

  3. i seond bri and adam – the desolation and destruction is haunting

    Comment by Claudia | March 13, 2011 | Reply

    • Thanks, Claudia! The image does haunt me, especially the eyes!

      Comment by alee9 | March 13, 2011 | Reply

  4. Deep and dark, I really enjoy your take on these prompts, and the fact that you make three standalone parts that make up a tale x

    Comment by RepressedSoul | March 13, 2011 | Reply

    • Thanks again, Shan! I know, I’ve been enjoying the prompts immensely. They’ve been drawing out a lot of lines and drafts that never worked out until now.

      Comment by alee9 | March 13, 2011 | Reply

  5. Outstanding!

    Comment by Mama Zen | March 13, 2011 | Reply

    • Oh, thank you so much. A single word with so much power–what a critique!

      Comment by alee9 | March 13, 2011 | Reply

  6. Read this earlier Alegria, but wanted to come back and read it again before i commented–it’s a complex poem, and one can get lost in all the little careless but perfect images that drive the message home. This is really striking in many ways, but I’ll just say the whole piece is like a well-written and perfectly choreographed piece of music, with the last two stanzas like a double hammer beat finale.

    Comment by hedgewitch | March 13, 2011 | Reply

    • Thanks again as always, Joy! You got me there again! The first stanza came like a low slow drum and kept rising and falling but the basso profundo of ‘disnitegration’ and ‘destruction’ followed through. The photo prompt helped me get through it–I focused on the skin and eyes and then the hair. I think the lines draw their power from the image. But reading it again, I know, I still have to work on the rough, as you call it, ‘careless’ skids. Thank you again for your careful reading and thoughtful comment!

      Comment by alee9 | March 14, 2011 | Reply

  7. A great verse…and slowly you build it up to great ending. Liked it so much…
    ‘grind your being
    with mine scrape off
    your bareness toss out
    your soul i dare you’
    thanks for sharing.

    ॐ शांति ॐ
    Om Shanti Om
    May peace be… praying for People of Japan
    http://shadowdancingwithmind.blogspot.com/2011/03/whispers-love-and-insignificance.html
    Connect me at Twitter @VerseEveryDay

    Comment by Shashi | March 17, 2011 | Reply

    • Thank you, Shashi! Glad you liked it!

      Comment by alee9 | March 17, 2011 | Reply


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