for a moment of joy or moments no one pays for, i give myself a ‘jornal’. this makes me rich. try it.

Just can’t help it! Haiku can be love poems for me: posts from my wall at the NaHaiWriMo fb site, yes, it’s still on

#2.28b dawn
frosted dawn-
words hang
on his last kiss

(her in the original)

#3.5 partings
between her
and his goodbye—
sudden hail

#3.7 water, etc.
after his goodbye—
tossing tear-soaked tissues
in* street waste bins

*I later fussed over this preposition, citing my ESL brain taking over–in both dialects I spoke, Iluko, the one I was born with and spoke as a child (but with which I’m now writing poetry), and Pilipino, our national language I speak with as an adult and never did write with both–prepositions are not definite. So I think ‘in’ as I wrote it is wrong and added a rewrite of the last line as follows: ‘into street waste bins’. Alan took note, saying’ the rewrite made it prosaic’ and told me ‘to follow your instincts’ because the first one works better.

Just can’t help it! Haiku can be love poems for me. These were posted in the continuing NaHaiWriMo fb site, prompts by Alan Summers.

March 8, 2011 - Posted by | haiku, poetry | , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

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