jornales

for a moment of joy or moments no one pays for, i give myself a ‘jornal’. this makes me rich. try it.

mist/deepwinter/thunder in the copse–v-day haiku but no ‘heart’ as kigo (for One Stop Poetry, also my 13th,14th,15th NaHaiWriMo)

13.
mist—
too wet on cheeks
to be a kiss

14.
deep winter—
bundled up we search
for each other’s eyes

15.
thunder in the copse
a vow
unintended

‘Heart’ as kigo is missing here but it’s hinted at. Does Valentine belong to Japanese haiku tradition? I believe it’s not though I don’t really know much about modern Japanese haiku. Perhaps, it has included it as a kigo. Here’s what I think comes closest to it–the courtly tanka in its purest form like this tanka from Thomas Gurgal’s Japanese Tanka, The Court Poetry of a Golden Age, first posted here under grey relentless rain (is it tanka? 02/07 2011) ‘I am comforted’ page 41:

I am comforted;
Now wordly impermanence
Seems unimportant;
Seen in the depths of your eyes,
The warm eternal darkness.

Posted also for One Stop Poetry’s Saturday Celebration of Valentine’s Day. Check us out!

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February 12, 2011 - Posted by | haiku, poetry | , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

4 Comments »

  1. Nice Alegria–all three of these are delightful–I was trying to pick a favorite, but whatever one I was reading was my favorite till I read the next one. 😉 I do like the middle one quite a bit, with the sense that we are layered up in many things and must search for each others eyes…the tanka you included was excellent reading, too, if rather formal feeling after your very fresh and immediate work.

    Comment by hedgewitch | February 12, 2011 | Reply

    • I can’t get over my exhilaration, a ‘high’ really, over the way you read my poetry and now, my haiku, Joy! I do love the second one, too. It came to me in a crowded bus ride where I glanced a young couple squeezed together, standing in the aisle–tender moment for them; for me, a haiku moment!

      Comment by alee9 | February 14, 2011 | Reply

  2. I want to second that, Alegria. I like deep winter a lot, it is very clean. And hedgewitch has nailed the commentary. Keep up the good posts.

    Sully

    Comment by Sully | February 14, 2011 | Reply

    • So deeply honored with this visit and your comment! Yes, deep winter for me is quite romantic, which inspires ‘sweet pain’. Thank you for finding my posts ‘good’!

      Comment by alee9 | February 14, 2011 | Reply


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