jornales

for a moment of joy or moments no one pays for, i give myself a ‘jornal’. this makes me rich. try it.

the copper sea (for One Shoot Sunday)

the sun sets copper
on the sea swarming over
desert longings
lapping our dreams

on our footprints
a heat rises on ghosts
of foam cresting
for the stars

the sand sinks
death our sun desires
drained on our footprints
unquenched

no shadows lurk
here the light fractures
the pining twilight
leaves splinters

on the sand
the copper sea turns in
a petulant phantom
on our footprints

unwashed silted

footprints by Iquanyin Moon

Posted for One Shoot Sunday at One Stop Poetry, a community of poets and artists who love their art and sustain each other.

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January 30, 2011 - Posted by | free verse, poetry | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

14 Comments »

  1. nice. some fun word play and great descriptors in this one…

    Comment by brian | January 30, 2011 | Reply

    • Thanks, Brian! I have to give to give credit to Iquanyin for the great image prompt.

      Comment by alee9 | January 30, 2011 | Reply

  2. the sun setting copper – sea swarm over desert longings – this i liked a lot

    Comment by Claudia | January 30, 2011 | Reply

    • I’m glad you liked it, Claudia!

      Comment by alee9 | January 30, 2011 | Reply

  3. here the light fractures
    the pining twilight
    leaves splinters

    Beautiful lines. Indeed fun word play, as well as well phrased imagery.

    Comment by dustus | January 30, 2011 | Reply

    • I love how you word your ‘critiques’, Adam!

      Comment by alee9 | January 30, 2011 | Reply

  4. I ditto Dustus. Those lines had me. nice.

    Comment by Jerry | January 30, 2011 | Reply

    • And for that, for ‘getting to you’, I’m thankful and glad you enjoyed my poem, Jerry!

      Comment by alee9 | January 30, 2011 | Reply

  5. Great use of words here! Here’s mine. http://thelunaticsdiary.blogspot.com/2011/01/searing-eternity.html If you have a twitter, follow me (my username is MsMatsui)!

    Comment by Shigune Matsui | January 30, 2011 | Reply

    • Thanks, Matsui! Your blog is great, by the way.

      Comment by alee9 | January 31, 2011 | Reply

  6. Like the copper sundrenched sea, powerful catch at the start.

    Comment by Reflections | January 30, 2011 | Reply

    • Thanks, Petrina! The image prompt just made ‘see’ the sea drenched in very intense sunset.

      Comment by alee9 | January 31, 2011 | Reply

  7. Lovely imagery used here hun. Left me with a sense of longing

    Comment by RepressedSoul | January 30, 2011 | Reply

    • ” a sense of longing…” exactly what the poem is all about, I think! Thanks for this uplifting comment.

      Comment by alee9 | January 31, 2011 | Reply


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