jornales

for a moment of joy or moments no one pays for, i give myself a ‘jornal’. this makes me rich. try it.

dawn/lost (zero votes in Shiki kukai)-dawn/lost on bare trees (belated but could be better)

Shiki Jan 2011
kigo (dawn)


dawn–
in same sky but a memory
at winter twilight

free format

him I lost once
comes back a new smile
a changed country

Both haiku got zero votes in the kukai for obvious reasons–these are not haiku at all! I wrote them in a wrong state of mind, of this I’m certain. It was a blind space. But having sent them, which qualified me to vote, I got to read exquisite haiku like those of friends Melissa Allen and Margaret Dornaus both of whom got votes in both categories, and those of many other members of haikuworld most of whom are well published and multi-awarded. Congratulations, again!

And mine, belatedly written and could be better

kigo

dawn—
ripples on the water
as we speak

free format

lost on bare trees–
his promises

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January 29, 2011 - Posted by | critique/self-critique, haiku, poetry | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

2 Comments »

  1. Alegria, I love your rewrite of “his promises”! Absolutely beautiful!

    Comment by Margaret Dornaus | January 29, 2011 | Reply

    • Otra vez, mil gracias, mi hermana!

      Comment by alee9 | January 29, 2011 | Reply


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