jornales

for a moment of joy or moments no one pays for, i give myself a ‘jornal’. this makes me rich. try it.

Escape (for one shoot Sunday)

"The Arrow Shot" a photomanipulation by Claudio Mufarrege

She leans on her toes, picks up lead
in the light, streaks in the wind
—gold melts into indigo on her feet.

Shredded knits soaked in dregs becomes
her, a princess biting at grit, thrusting
her feet into the roar, a moment

to dread yet to want to slip in, a
gaping so inviting—the tunnel’s mouth
slurping the sky—but she turns back

drawing tight like a lover her shadow
and flits toward the light.

I posted this poem for One Shoot Sunday at the One Stop Poetry blog.

Join us – throw in your verses. Here are the rules (taken directly off their blog):

1. Write a poetic piece & post it on your blog
2. Then let us know about your post. Link back to One Shot
3. Sign up in the Mr Linky list, linking directly to your post, AFTER you’ve posted it.
4. Go visit others who have signed up! Offer support & encouragement. Share your love of words and insight respectfully. Please try to visit as many participating poets as you can. We all could use and appreciate kind feedback.

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December 19, 2010 - Posted by | free verse, poetry, Uncategorized | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

24 Comments »

  1. Very nice and descriptive

    Comment by Kodjo Deynoo | December 19, 2010 | Reply

    • Thanks!

      Comment by alee9 | December 20, 2010 | Reply

  2. Making her sound like a moth to the flame. I like it thanks for sharing!

    Comment by shanellis | December 19, 2010 | Reply

    • I’m glad you like it!

      Comment by alee9 | December 20, 2010 | Reply

  3. Transformative lines that create a tone and feel of fantasy. Love the line “a princess biting at grit.” Excellent poetic approach to the prompt. Cheers

    Comment by dustus | December 19, 2010 | Reply

    • I’m glad you love it! I had focused on the image of the woman and just couldn’t stop the story that started unraveling. “Inner spaces” as a theme first came but the “princess” idea won out. These Sunday picture prompts do the unexpected, indeed. Again, I can’t thank you enough for this space.

      Comment by alee9 | December 20, 2010 | Reply

  4. She dreams of what she sees as freedom, but makes another choice – “flits toward the light” like a moth. Nice one.

    Comment by Glynn | December 19, 2010 | Reply

    • Comment by alee9 | December 20, 2010 | Reply

    • Thanks, Glynn!

      Comment by alee9 | December 20, 2010 | Reply

  5. Never saw that comin’…good tack. Shredded knits soaked in dregs….nice.

    Comment by Jerry | December 19, 2010 | Reply

    • Thanks, Jerry!

      Comment by alee9 | December 20, 2010 | Reply

  6. love the ending, just like a butterfly!

    Comment by Neha | December 19, 2010 | Reply

    • Yes, indeed, like a butterfly, a moth, as Glynn says, giving in to the light! I didn’t see that! Thanks, Neha.

      Comment by alee9 | December 20, 2010 | Reply

  7. dustus beat me to my favorite line, but the imagery is strong and vibrant throughout, as always in your finely crafted work. You captured the stress and pull in the photo very well here. Enjoyed it.

    Comment by hedgewitch | December 19, 2010 | Reply

    • Joy, thanks for your reassurance! The photo did draw out the poem and it seems to have written itself again. I’m glad you enjoyed it.

      Comment by alee9 | December 20, 2010 | Reply

  8. Never mess with a princess.

    Comment by fireblossom | December 19, 2010 | Reply

  9. “She leans on her toes,” is my favorite line, leaning toward the light.

    Comment by Gigi Ann | December 19, 2010 | Reply

    • Thanks, Gigi Ann!

      Comment by alee9 | December 20, 2010 | Reply

  10. very well written…was an amazing picture prompt and this really worked well

    Comment by pete marshall | December 19, 2010 | Reply

    • Thanks, Pete!

      Comment by alee9 | December 20, 2010 | Reply

  11. I really like the feeling of striving. i wonder what she is

    Nicely written- fits well with the photo

    Comment by moondustwriter | December 19, 2010 | Reply

    • Thanks for this comment, Leslie! What she is? She could be anything caught in inner spaces, wedged between giving in to the dark or the light. Honestly, she just rose before me and unraveled who she is.

      Comment by alee9 | December 20, 2010 | Reply

  12. you are in command of your muse.

    Comment by Christopher | December 19, 2010 | Reply

    • You honor me with your statement, Christopher! I can’t add another word because I feel my poems come from and belong to her and she could be reading this!

      Comment by alee9 | December 20, 2010 | Reply


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