jornales

for a moment of joy or moments no one pays for, i give myself a ‘jornal’. this makes me rich. try it.

midday calm

midday calm

but not for crow cawing

at his shadow

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June 29, 2010 - Posted by | haiku, poetry | , ,

2 Comments »

  1. I especially love this haiku. I’m not sure that you need “but”? The humorous contrast is already implied without it. 🙂

    midday clam
    the crow cawing at
    his shadow

    Comment by upinvermont | August 8, 2010 | Reply

    • Thanks, Patrick! Thanks for giving me a sense of what’s missing to really make my haiku work! True, the contrast is implied. I love the seamless way the ‘calm day is fractured by the cawing’ in your version.

      Comment by alee9 | August 8, 2010 | Reply


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